Emma, you have just turned three years old! Like most moms, I’m sitting here wondering where did the time go? The mundane of days seem to drag on but somehow years tend to fly by!
You were born within days of my spiritual birthday – and to me this is not a coincidence.
Your physical birth was the kick-starter God used to do a full spiritual rebirth for my soul. I look back on my life before you were born – and I do not even recognize myself. There was so much I thought I knew about Jesus and when you came – you made me realize just how little I knew Him.
For those first few weeks and months – the words “Down Syndrome” felt like a huge weight that tied my tongue.
It took everything in me to even utter those words. Friends would come to visit you in the hospital and as they would ooh and ahh over you, it made me wonder if they knew of your diagnosis…because I did not have the strength to utter those words. And later I learned that even though many of them were aware, they were just gifting me with what really mattered in those moments – the celebration of a new and perfectly created life.
It has been a beautiful journey for me to walk through this new life with you and try to see things through your eyes.
You cannot speak words, yet you preach to me daily.
You have a pureness and wholeness that I find myself lacking due to the weight and concerns of this world.
You have never met a stranger – you are open and loving – giving smiles and hugs to everyone you come across.
My introvert-self wants to inwardly kick and scream when you run up to a group of strangers – you force me out of my comfort zone just like Jesus does!
You have led me past the shoreline into an ocean of intense deep love and grace of the Lord.
I am, for the first time in my life, fully submerged in this ocean, with no way to hold myself up. I feel totally abandoned to the Lord and His ways. It sounds wonderful, but the unknown is always a scary place.
Many times I feel overwhelmed and emotional–I struggle to find my grip and balance.
God has used you to help give me the strength to keep going deeper – saying no to fear, and yes to love.
So now, here we are three years later and the words “Down Syndrome” have completely lost their sting.
You are the most typical, perfectly created toddler on the planet! You are just moving right along in this life–unconcerned with the fact that most people may look at you and immediately label you as a disability.
You love your siblings, food, and all things Peppa Pig.
You hate it when I even THINK about touching your hair.
You get frustrated when I won’t let you do things you think you can do–like run in the street, or up and down a flight of stairs!
You don’t like it when I put food away, or when brother turns off Peppa Pig; and you prefer a crème filled cookie as your after nap snack!
Keep on moving on sweet Emma.