The following is a spoken word that I wrote after going through a dark place of deep pain, desperation, and then shame. It was a place that resulted in me thinking that the world had something to offer me and then later realizing that what I was undergoing was spiritual warfare like I had never experienced before. 2 Corinthians 11:14 tells us that Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light [to deceive us] and 1 Peter 5:8-9 tells us to be vigilant because the devil walks about roaring [lies] [like a lion. After years of complete brokenness, the lies and doubts roaring in my mind began to take over me because I was not rooted in TRUTH, God’s Word, and also wasn’t allowing myself to be vulnerable in a community of believers to help direct me to Truth when I was struggling. As I embraced the enemy’s lies, my strength to stand firm in my faith was slipping.
BUT PRAISE GOD!!!!! That was not the end of my story.
He brought me out of this place of sin and shame and put worth and His Name back into my game. I hope you enjoy this poem. But even more so, I hope that if you find yourself in a place of sin and shame that you will turn your eyes to Resurrection Hope and find TRUTH in God’s Word, reading the Bible for yourself. If you need a Bible reading plan then check out the Bible resources on my website for what I’m currently using. You can also listen to the Bible if you are an audio learner or want to listen while in the car or doing chores. I do this A LOT! Also, there are many Bible reading plans to choose from within the YouVersion Bible app. If you need help getting started you can find that on the Bible resource page as well. Basically, there are options that fit your style! Just let the Word of God fill up your heart and mind and you will begin to be transformed as you discover WHO God is and how we are loved so.
Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
John 16:33 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Most importantly, I want you to know that you are Not Alone. You are not alone because there are others that have walked in your shoes or have experienced your pain…. Whether you know who they are or not. And you are Not Alone because if you are a believer then the Spirit of God dwells within you. Isaiah 41:10 says God is with us and will give us strength, help us and hold us in His hand. How beautiful is that?
Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Furthermore, if we are believers then the Bible tells us that we are led by the Holy Spirit that dwells in us and are no longer slaves to sin, or our sin nature. We have the power of God living inside of us to overcome these things. Not for us to feel condemnation or for us to try and do things in our own strength, but through the power and grace of the Holy Spirit. Something I tell my kids is that we never grow out of sin. As much as I want to grow and change and become more like Christ, I will never grow and change so much that I will grow out of needing the saving grace and forgiveness of my Lord and Savior. Not at all. I will need it every. single. day. for the rest of my life. And you will, too.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 8: 14-17 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.
15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
Hebrews 4:16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
If you are reading this and you don’t have that relationship with Jesus as your Savior or are not sure if you do, then please check out the Resurrection Hope page on my website that can simply explain and walk you through how this hope, this Resurrection Hope, can be yours forever.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
Romans 10:9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
Romans 10:13 Whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Living Not Alone,
Jenny Leigh
(This poem was originally written to be a spoken word.)
Loved So
I never thought I could fall so low,
That my heart would hit the floor, my life get so broke.
I never thought my mind could get so tangled,
Parts of me that seemed complete could unravel and get mangled.
I never thought I’d get so confused,
What I thought was fused could start to feel untrue,
That the me in my dreams would become the me wandering,
That the life I was seeking instead left me reaching,
For the safety for the net,
for the place that I could set,
My brokenness and my dreams,
This honest search for meaning.
How do you repair your broken soul so low so broke,
you don’t know where to go, how to grow,
From this place of unrest to a place to be blessed,
To a God that redeems and restores all this mess.
How could I? What was I thinking?
God are you there? I’m at my end, I’m sinking!
How can you forgive the choices I’ve made?
How could you love me despite the mistakes I create?
And yet, I know, I KNOW, you’ve loved me all the same,
You chase my sin and my shame away and you say,
I am yours. You are mine.
Your love takes sin’s place it’s your mercy seat design,
You take my brokenness and shame and make it yours,
And in exchange,
I get you.
I get your name, I get your plan,
I get your strength, I get your for-give-ness,
And without judgement without fear,
You draw me near and it’s so clear that
You. Love. Me.
In spite of my mess, in spite of my sin,
In spite of the disasters that burn from within,
You died for me so that I could be free,
You died for me while knowingly
That I’d fall SO low, be so broke,
Be so lost in sin that I’d lose my soul.
But You. You rescued me.
You took my sin and my shame,
Put worth and Your name back into my game,
And You restore me.
You build something new,
From ugly and broken to beautiful,
You never let me go.
I was Never Alone!
I never knew I could be loved so.
NOT ALONE MINISTRIES 