Speaking and Praying Scripture – October – “Minding My Tongue”

Hot-tempered, foolish, jealous, and judgmental… that’s only the beginning of a long list of who I am without Christ. Please don’t ever put me on a pedestal because you will be so disappointed. In fact, I get a little embarrassed when people who don’t know me say things like “You’re so sweet! I bet you never…” while in front of my family who knows my flesh. Y’all, I’m a wretch, and if you see anything good in me then it’s either Jesus shining through or you just haven’t gotten a closer look. But aren’t we all prone to works of the flesh? Galatians 5:16-26 addresses the spirit versus the flesh, and I too often find myself on the wrong list; works of the flesh instead of fruit of the Spirit. As Christians, however, we are no longer slaves to sin and instead can enjoy freedom in Christ.

Romans 6:6-7 “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be rendered powerless so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin, since a person who has died is freed from sin.”

This death is not referring to our physical, earthly death, but about our spiritual death to our old self – our sinful nature, selfish desires, and life apart from God. Hallelujah! The Lord knows more intimately than anyone the many ways my flesh tries to enslave me. But Praise God! I do not have to submit to that bondage because of my identity in Christ (Galatians 4:7). In fact, the Bible clearly tells us that if we walk in the Spirit then we will not gratify the desires of our flesh (Galatians 5:16-18). Though none of us can ever do this perfectly, how wonderful to know there is hope for a wretch like me!

If you’ve been around for a while, then you know the Lord has been using these monthly Speaking and Praying Scriptures to faithfully address situations within myself or our family. I’m sorry to say that this month what I’ve needed most is for the Lord to get a hold of my tongue! For the people that know me best (or worst?), they probably aren’t that surprised. As much as I love to encourage and celebrate others, I unfortunately have a tendency to use that same ‘sweet little mouth’ to say the ugliest most horrible things to people I love, or in this month’s case the vice-principal of my son’s school. That’s right. I’m sure you’re gasping in shock and believe me, I was too! Most of you know that we have a son with special needs and with that comes important meetings that can be stressful and emotionally ridden. In one unguarded moment I let something slip out of my mouth that was really disrespectful. I was immediately stunned by my own behavior and simultaneously embarrassed by my lack of self-control. I know I’m not alone in these moments where our flesh appears at the most inappropriate times as if we haven’t worked on godliness ever in our life. In that moment where the rawness of my flesh appeared Satan immediately began to isolate me in my shame. Is there anything good in me at all? My friends would never talk like this to the vice-principal; they would have self-control! Who am I??  And while it could be easy to try and justify my response with the pressures of these kinds of meetings, previous negative experiences that led to my heightened emotions, or the misunderstandings that led to the meeting in the first place, my response was not pleasing to the Lord, and I knew it. No excuse was going to be good enough to excuse my sin. Praise God that in his loving kindness he calls us out of our sin and sets out feet on solid ground.

Psalm 40:2 He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure.

After this fateful meeting, that actually went well despite my little comment, I had the weekend to repent to God and set my feet straight. One of the ways I am setting my feet straight is daily repentance when I fail! (Ha! For real though…) The other way I’m setting my feet straight is, you guessed it, Speaking and Praying Scripture. From a misfortunate event to the fortune of knowing the Father… here are October’s Speaking and Praying Scriptures:

Psalm 141:3 Set a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.

I don’t think I could have come across a more perfect verse. In Romans 3:13 the Apostle Paul talks about our tongues being filled with evil and having poisonous effects while James 3:5-6 compares the tongue to a fire that sets a forest ablaze. What power there is in our tongue! But we already knew this, right? That’s why we use it the way we do. To uplift or tear down, to judge others’ choices. It’s why we work to teach our children to be respectful and honoring. It’s also why the Lord called me out of my sin and set my feet on solid ground. Lord, how desperate I am for you to pour out your Holy Spirit on me so I can walk in step with you (Galatians 5:16-18), guarding my mouth and the door of my lips!

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her hands.

I chose this verse because I’ve really felt convicted lately with how I’m speaking to my husband and children. Home is the place where I am the most raw and probably the least godly. Wow. It’s true though, right? Especially for someone that is a verbal processor! (My sweet husband.. he’s been listening to me verbally process life for 18 years now.) How often do I forget how sacred the space is between the walls of my home and how tender the hearts of those who inhabit it? When I went to scripture to seek the Lord about this problem with my tongue (and later my anger, since I’m being honest), this verse jumped out at me visually. I visualized building a home log by log (think Lincoln Logs) with all the things I do to invest in my family: making pumpkin muffins, writing notes, cleaning the house, telling them over and over ‘I love you’. And then after I carefully and intentionally place log after log, I open my mouth with annoyance, frustration, or anger and out comes poison that affects the air they breathe or sparks a flame that sets the logs on fire. Oh, the imagery! It doesn’t matter how many muffins I make, how many times I say ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry’ if I cannot control my tongue. I know there is grace, but at some point, the poison and the flames are suffocating, and a new pattern must take place.

Lastly…

Ephesians 4:29 No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.

I think it’s important here to understand that foul language doesn’t just mean curse words. Other versions of the Bible use the words unwholesome talk (NIV), corrupting talk (ESV), foul or abusive language (NLT), corrupt communication (KJV), and harmful words (CEV). The book of Ephesians is about us being reconciled to Christ and then living out our new identity as followers of Christ. Thus, Ephesians 4:29 exhorts us to live in step with the Holy Spirit by eliminating foul language and replacing it with speech that builds others up and benefits them. This aligns with my illustration of building my house log by log yet poisoning it or setting it aflame at the same time. True repentance is to stop the sinful behavior and replace it with God-honoring behavior. My foul language in my home must stop and be replaced with what is good for building up and giving grace.

A few months back I encountered this same sin issue. Incredibly jet-lagged and sleep deprived, my emotions, language, and outbursts were uncontrolled and setting my home on fire. I literally cried to my husband one night because I was tired of apologizing for the same thing over and over. Emotionally distressed I cried out, “How can I ever change?” With gentleness in his voice he replied, “Through the Holy Spirit.”

Ladies – Men – whoever is reading this… If you are like me and have had a problem controlling your tongue, you don’t have to try and conquer this battle on your own. If you are in Christ,

You are Not Alone!

Only being in step with the Holy Spirit can we begin to eliminate poisonous speech and make any real change with good and grace-filled speech. After all, it’s His fruit that we are trying to bear, not ours (Galatians 5:22-23)!

It’s also important to remember that the war we are battling with our tongues is spiritual! I talked about this in my Armor of God post back in June, that Peter 5:8 warns us the devil prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour and Ephesians 6:12 tells us that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against all types of spiritual forces. When my blood pressure spikes and my defenses quickly rise, the enemy wants me to be short tempered and angry, using foul language that poisons my home and relationships, even school relationships. But as stated in the very beginning, as Christians, we are no longer slaves to our sinful nature but instead can enjoy freedom in Christ as we walk in step with the Holy Spirit. Lord, help me to hold fast to your Word, guard my speech, and give me the humility to repent and rebuild bridges when I do sin.

If you are a Christian, then your identity is secure in Christ, and you have freedom from the bondage of sin. It might take a heap of humility to walk that path towards repentance and freedom, but you won’t be walking it alone. Every single person is a sinner only saved by grace, but we all have sin patterns and struggles that we have to work through. Not only is it encouraging to know that we aren’t isolated in our struggles, but it is the power of the Holy Spirit working in us that makes us truly Not Alone. Unfortunately, we will never outgrow sin, but fortunately, we have Resurrection Hope!

1 Peter 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

If you aren’t a Christian and want to experience the freedom I talked about in Christ, check out my page on Resurrection Hope.

October

Psalm 141:3 LORD, set up a guard for my mouth; keep watch at the door of my lips.

Proverbs 14:1 Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.

Ephesians 4:29 No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.

PRAYER:

Dear God, You are a good, good Father who loves us so much. Thank you for the gift of your son, Jesus, who died on the cross for our sins so that if we confess with our mouth that Jesus is LORD and believe in our heart that God raised him from the dead we will be saved.

Lord, we come before you with humility and ask for your forgiveness for all the ways we’ve used our tongues to dishonor you and those around us. We ask for your Holy Spirit to come upon us and help us have self-control against all hatred, strife, jealousy, and outbursts of anger (Gal 5:20). We ask that you put a guard on our mouths and keep watch at the door of our lips. God, for myself I pray that you would give me wisdom to build my house with the fruit of the Spirit and help me to walk in step with the Spirit. Help me to have godly character in my home and outside my home and help our children to imitate us as we imitate God. I pray that no foul language, or any language that stirs up strife, will come out of our mouths but only what is good for building others up and giving grace to one another. We thank you that because you first loved us, showed us how to live, and then died for us we are no longer slaves to sin but can walk in freedom in our identity in Christ.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.